1. Introduction: Why Saint Paul’s Teaching Matters
- Saint Paul gives one of the clearest New Testament teachings about marriage, separation, reconciliation, abandonment, widowhood, and remarriage.
- Paul does not treat marriage as a casual human contract. He treats it as a holy calling, living before God with faithfulness, purity, self-control, love, and sacrifice.
- Paul’s teaching must be read together with the teaching of Christ. Jesus teaches that marriage is created by God and must not be broken by selfish human desire. Paul applies this teaching to real pastoral problems inside the church.
- Paul’s main passages about marriage and divorce are:
- 1 Corinthians 7:1–40, where Paul speaks about marriage, sexual faithfulness, separation, reconciliation, mixed marriages, abandonment, singleness, widowhood, and remarriage.
- Ephesians 5:21–33, where Paul presents marriage as an icon of Christ and the church.
- Romans 7:2–3, where Paul uses marriage as an example of a binding covenant during the lifetime of the spouse.
- Colossians 3:18–19, where Paul commands wives and husbands to live in a Christian way, especially commanding husbands to love and not be harsh.
- 1 Corinthians 6:18–20, where Paul condemns sexual immorality and teaches that the body belongs to the Lord.
2. Paul Honours Marriage as Holy and Good
- Saint Paul does not despise marriage. Some people misunderstand Paul because he also praises celibacy, but Paul does not say that marriage is bad, dirty, or spiritually inferior.
- Paul sees both marriage and celibacy as gifts from God. Marriage is a holy path for many Christians, and celibacy is also a holy path for others.
- Paul does not present marriage and singleness as enemies. He presents them as different callings given by God.
- In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul teaches that marriage provides the proper holy place for sexual union and protects the believer from sexual immorality.
- Paul does not speak about marriage only as romance. He speaks about marriage as a covenant, duty, faithfulness, self-control, and mutual care.
- This is important because Christian marriage is not built only on feelings. Feelings can change, but covenant love must remain faithful before God.
3. Paul Teaches Mutual Responsibility Between Husband and Wife
- In 1 Corinthians 7:3–5, Paul teaches that both husband and wife have duties toward one another.
- This teaching is very important because Paul does not place all responsibility on the wife. He speaks to the husband and the wife with equal moral seriousness.
- In many ancient cultures, men were often given more sexual freedom, while women carried the heavier moral burden. Paul’s teaching is different because he calls both husband and wife to faithfulness, self-control, and mutual service.
- Paul teaches mutual care. The husband must not treat his wife as an object, and the wife must not treat her husband as irrelevant.
- Paul teaches mutual self-giving. Marriage is not a selfish possession. Marriage is a covenant where each spouse gives himself or herself in love.
- Paul teaches mutual faithfulness. The body is not for adultery, lust, manipulation, or selfish control. The body belongs to the Lord, and in marriage the husband and wife honour one another.
- Paul also teaches that husband and wife should not deprive one another except by mutual agreement, for prayer, and only for a limited time.
- This means spiritual life and married life should not be enemies. Prayer is holy, but marriage duties are also holy.
- From a Christian view, sexual intimacy inside marriage is not dirty. It is part of the holy union when it is lived in love, faithfulness, respect, and purity.
4. Paul Teaches Self-Control and Realistic Holiness
- Paul speaks honestly about human weakness and sexual temptation. He does not pretend that Christians have no bodily struggles.
- In 1 Corinthians 7:8–9, Paul says that marriage is good for those who do not have the gift of celibacy.
- This does not make marriage inferior. It shows that marriage is a holy and realistic protection against sexual sin.
- Paul does not teach that passion should control the person. He teaches that the whole person must live under the lordship of Christ.
- Marriage is not a licence for lust. Marriage is the holy place where sexual desire is ordered by covenant love.
- Paul’s teaching protects both holiness and human reality. He calls Christians to purity, but he also understands weakness and gives pastoral guidance.
5. Paul Teaches Reconciliation Where Possible
- In 1 Corinthians 7:10–11, Paul gives a serious command to married Christians. He says that a wife should not separate from her husband, and a husband should not divorce his wife.
- Paul’s first desire is not divorce. His first desires are repentance, healing, forgiveness, and reconciliation.
- Paul does not want the Church to treat divorce as the first solution to marital difficulty.
- The Church should not rush people toward divorce when there is still a true path of repentance, counselling, healing, and restoration.
- The Church should encourage prayer, confession, counselling, forgiveness, and pastoral care where reconciliation is safe and truthful.
- However, reconciliation must not be fake. The Church must not force a wounded spouse to pretend that everything is fine when there is violence, adultery, cruelty, addiction, or serious betrayal without repentance.
- True reconciliation needs truth. It needs repentance. It needs change. It needs safety. It needs spiritual healing.
- Paul’s command protects marriage from selfish separation, but it should not be misused to protect abuse or force someone to remain in real danger.
6. Paul’s Rule If Separation Happens
- Paul recognises that separation may happen, even though it is not God’s ideal.
- In 1 Corinthians 7:11, Paul says that if a wife separates, she should remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.
- This means Paul does not treat separation as automatic freedom for quick remarriage.
- Paul sees the marriage bond as serious and continuing.
- If separation happens between Christian spouses, Paul’s normal direction is either reconciliation or remaining unmarried.
- This is a strict teaching, and it shows how serious Paul’s view of marriage is.
- In the Orthodox and Coptic Orthodox spirit, this supports the idea that marriage is not easily dissolved by personal choice.
- The Church must therefore treat separation with spiritual seriousness, not with casual approval.
7. Paul Speaks About Mixed Marriages
- In 1 Corinthians 7:12–14, Paul speaks about a believer married to an unbeliever.
- This situation likely happened when one spouse became Christian after marriage, while the other spouse remained unbelieving.
- Paul says that if the unbelieving spouse is willing to live with the believer, the believer should not divorce.
- This is very important because Paul does not tell Christians to destroy the marriage simply because the other spouse is not Christian.
- Paul teaches that the Christian spouse can be a holy presence in the home.
- The believing spouse should live faithfully, peacefully, prayerfully, and lovingly.
- Paul does not say that the unbelieving spouse is automatically saved. Salvation remains personal.
- But Paul does say that the family is touched by the holy presence of the believer.
- This teaching protects marriage and also protects the mission of the Christian home.
- A believing husband or wife may become a witness to Christ through patience, holiness, love, and prayer.
8. Paul Speaks About Abandonment
- In 1 Corinthians 7:15, Paul says that if the unbelieving spouse leaves, the Christian brother or sister is “not bound” in such circumstances, because God has called believers to peace.
- This is one of the most discussed verses in Christian teaching about divorce.
- Many Protestant churches understand this verse to mean that abandonment by an unbelieving spouse can dissolve the marriage bond and may allow remarriage.
- Reformed churches often identify adultery and wilful desertion as two main biblical grounds for divorce.
- Other Christian traditions are more cautious and may allow separation without quickly allowing remarriage.
- The Coptic Orthodox Church traditionally places the strongest emphasis on Christ’s exception concerning sexual immorality in Matthew 19:9.
- In Coptic Orthodox theology, marriage is sacramental, not merely contractual, so divorce is treated with great seriousness.
- Therefore, Paul’s phrase “not bound” has been interpreted differently by different churches.
- A balanced reading should say clearly that Paul does not encourage abandonment.
- Paul simply teaches that if the unbelieving spouse insists on leaving, the believer is not enslaved to endless conflict.
- Paul ends the verse with peace. This means the believer should not live in constant war, chasing someone who has rejected the marriage.
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