Sayings of the Early Church Fathers about Marriage and Divorce

Introduction

• The early Church Fathers usually spoke about marriage as a holy union, not merely a social contract. They understood marriage as a serious bond before God, based on the words of Christ: 'So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:6, NIV). [1]
• When the fathers spoke about divorce, they normally spoke with great seriousness. They often allowed separation in cases of grave sin, especially adultery, but they strongly warned against remarriage while the first spouse was still alive. Their main concern was to protect the sanctity of marriage, repentance, reconciliation, and faithfulness to the teaching of Christ. [2]
• The Fathers were not writing as modern lawyers. They were pastors, bishops, apologists, and spiritual teachers. Their language can sometimes sound strict, especially when they speak about remarriage after divorce. But their purpose was to defend the holiness of marriage and to keep Christians from treating divorce as something easy or casual.
• From a Coptic Orthodox perspective, marriage is a holy mystery, a covenant of love, and a life of mutual sacrifice. The Church does not glorify divorce but also deals pastorally with human weakness, sin, danger, abandonment, and broken relationships. The ideal remains the word of Christ, and the pastoral aim is always repentance, healing, protection, and salvation.

1. The Shepherd of Hermas — on separation after adultery and remaining unmarried

“The husband should put her away and remain by himself.” [3]

• The Shepherd of Hermas speaks about a painful case where a wife continues in adultery and refuses repentance. The text allows the husband to separate from her, but it does not treat this separation as permission for a new marriage. The important point is that separation is allowed because of serious sin, but remarriage is not encouraged while the possibility of repentance remains.
• This shows a strong early Christian concern for repentance. The purpose of separation is not revenge, and it is not freedom to begin another marriage. It is a serious pastoral response to continuing adultery, while still leaving room for repentance and possible restoration.

2. The Shepherd of Hermas — on remarriage after putting away a wife

“But if he puts his wife away and marries another, he also commits adultery.” [4]

• This saying is very clear and very strict. Hermas teaches that even when the husband has put away an adulterous wife, he should not marry another while she is still alive. The text sees remarriage in this situation as adultery, because the first marriage bond is still treated with seriousness.
• This became one of the important early witnesses that many Christians in the early centuries understood Christ’s teaching as forbidding easy divorce and remarriage. The focus is not only on legal separation but also on the spiritual bond of marriage before God.

3. The Shepherd of Hermas — on receiving back the repentant spouse

“He ought to take back the sinner who has repented.” [5]

• Hermas also gives a merciful and pastoral side to the teaching. If the sinful spouse repents and wants to return, the innocent spouse is called to receive the repentant person back. This does not mean that sin is treated lightly. It means that repentance is real, and forgiveness is part of Christian marriage.
• This is very important for Orthodox pastoral thinking. Marriage is not only law; it is also repentance, forgiveness, healing, and restoration where this is safe and truthful. The Church must not encourage abuse or false repentance, but where repentance is real, reconciliation is honoured.

4. St Justin Martyr — on marrying a divorced woman

“Whosoever shall marry her that is divorced from another husband commits adultery.” [6]

• St Justin Martyr repeats the teaching of Christ as part of his defence of Christian purity. He presents Christians as people who do not only avoid outward adultery but also avoid lust in the heart. For Justin, marriage is not controlled simply by Roman civil law or human permission; it must be judged by the words of Christ.
• His witness is important because he is writing very early, in the second century. He shows that the early Church understood the words of Jesus about divorce and remarriage as part of Christian moral life and not merely as a private opinion.

5. St Justin Martyr — on second marriage by human law

“All who, by human law, are twice married, are in the eye of our Master sinners.” [7]

• Justin is making a strong contrast between human law and the judgement of Christ. Something may be permitted by society or civil law, but that does not automatically make it holy before God. His point is that Christians must measure marriage and divorce by the teaching of Christ, not simply by what society allows.
• This saying must be read carefully. Justin is speaking in the context of divorce and remarriage while a former spouse is living. He is not discussing every latter pastoral question in the same way modern churches must discuss them. But his direction is clear: the teaching of Christ is higher than human permission.

6. Athenagoras — on one marriage

“A person should either remain as he was born or be content with one marriage.” [8]

• Athenagoras presents Christian sexual ethics as very serious and disciplined. He says that Christians either live in virginity or remain faithful within one marriage. His purpose is to defend Christians against false accusations of immorality by showing that Christian life is marked by chastity, self-control, and faithfulness.
• This saying shows that early Christians had a very high view of marriage. Marriage was not viewed as a disposable arrangement. It was connected with moral purity, faithfulness, and obedience to God.

7. Athenagoras — on second marriage

“A second marriage is only a specious adultery.” [9]

• Athenagoras uses very strong language. In his context, he is speaking especially against divorce and remarriage and against treating marriage as something that can be easily replaced. His phrase “specious adultery” means something that may appear lawful outwardly but is spiritually wrong before God.
• This reflects the strict early Christian attitude toward remarriage while the first spouse is still living. It also shows how deeply the early Church connected marriage with lifelong faithfulness.

8. Clement of Alexandria — on marriage as a sacred image

“Marriage, then, as a sacred image, must be kept pure.” [10]

• Clement of Alexandria does not despise marriage. He calls marriage a sacred image, which means he sees marriage as something holy and meaningful before God. This is important because early Christian teaching was not simply anti-marriage. The Church honoured virginity but also honoured marriage as a holy way of life.
• For Clement, marriage must be kept pure because it belongs to the life of holiness. The husband and wife are not called to selfishness, lust, betrayal, or carelessness but to purity, faithfulness, and prayerful living.

9. Clement of Alexandria — on no release from the union

“Scripture counsels marriage and allows no release from the union.” [11]

• Clement reads the teaching of Scripture as protecting the marriage union. He connects this with the command not to put away one’s wife except for fornication. His concern is that divorce should not be used casually, selfishly, or unjustly.
• This helps us see the early Christian pattern. The Fathers knew that serious sin could damage marriage, but they did not treat divorce as a normal solution to ordinary difficulty. Marriage was to be protected because it was a holy union before God.

10. Tertullian — on Christ prohibiting divorce

“He prohibits divorce when He wants the marriage to be inviolable.” [12]

• Tertullian says that Christ’s teaching protects marriage from being broken casually. The word “inviolable” means that marriage is not to be treated as something easy to tear apart. For Tertullian, the command of Christ restores the original dignity of marriage.
• Tertullian also recognises that adultery is a serious wound in marriage, but he still presents Christ’s main teaching as the protection of the marriage bond. This is why his language is often strict.

11. Tertullian — on separation and reconciliation

“If she departs, she remains unmarried or is reconciled to her husband.” [13]

• Tertullian quotes the teaching of 1 Corinthians 7:10–11. This is one of the most important New Testament texts for the early Christian understanding of separation. If separation happens, the Christian path is not immediate remarriage but either remaining unmarried or reconciliation.
• This fits very closely with the pastoral spirit of St Paul: “But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife" (1 Corinthians 7:11, NIV). [14]

12. Origen — on the limited ground for dissolution

“Not at all permitting the dissolution of marriages for any other sin than fornication alone.” [15]

• Origen reads the words of Christ as very restrictive. He says that the Saviour does not permit the dissolution of marriage for ordinary reasons or for every kind of complaint. The exception he discusses is fornication, based on the words of Christ in Matthew.
• At the same time, Origen shows that difficult pastoral questions already existed in the early Church. He asks what should happen in very extreme cases, such as grave crimes. This shows that the Fathers were aware of pastoral complexity, but they still began from the strict teaching of Christ.

13. St John Chrysostom — on one man and one woman

“One man must dwell with one woman continually and never break off from her.” [16]

• St John Chrysostom gives a strong reading of Matthew 19. He says Christ returns to creation: one man, one woman, one flesh. This means marriage is not simply a human agreement that can be ended whenever emotions change. It is a union made by God.
• Chrysostom’s teaching is very useful for a Coptic Orthodox understanding because he connects marriage with creation, divine command, and the words of Christ. Marriage is a life of faithfulness, not a temporary arrangement.

14. St John Chrysostom — on divorce as tearing one flesh

“Like, then, as severing flesh is a horrible thing, so also divorcing a wife is unlawful.” [17]

• Chrysostom explains divorce by using the image of one flesh. If husband and wife have become one flesh, then divorce is not a small administrative act. It is like cutting what God has joined. This is why Christ says, “What God has joined together, let no one separate.”
• This does not mean that the Church ignores adultery, violence, danger, or abandonment. But it means the Church must never speak about divorce as if it were light or normal. It is always a tragedy and a wound.

15. St Basil the Great — on the man who deserts his wife

“He is himself an adulterer because he makes her commit adultery.” [18]

• St Basil speaks with strong moral seriousness about the man who deserts his wife and goes to another woman. He does not place the blame only on the abandoned woman. He says the man who deserts his wife is himself guilty, because his action places his wife in danger and causes disorder.
• This is important because it shows that the Fathers did not only speak harshly to women. St Basil places responsibility on the man who abandons his wife. In Christian marriage, the husband is accountable before God for faithfulness, protection, and love.

16. St Basil the Great — on the woman who lives with another woman’s husband

“The woman who lives with him is an adulteress.” [19]

• St Basil also says that the woman who takes another woman’s husband is guilty of adultery. His point is that a second relationship cannot be treated as innocent when it is built on the destruction of a living marriage.
• This reflects the strict canonical mind of the early Church. Marriage was not seen as a private emotional choice only. It was a covenant before God, and the church judged actions according to that covenant.

17. St Augustine — on marriage as a good thing

“The marriage of male and female is some good.” [20]

• St Augustine clearly says that marriage is good. This is important because Augustine is sometimes misunderstood as if he were against marriage. He was not. He taught that marriage has real goodness, including faithfulness, children, and sacramental meaning.
• Augustine’s point helps us avoid two errors. We must not despise marriage, and we must not misuse marriage. Marriage is good when it is lived in faithfulness, chastity, responsibility, and love before God.

18. St Augustine — on the divorced person and remarriage

“It is necessary for her to remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.” [21]

• Augustine follows the teaching of St Paul in 1 Corinthians 7. If separation happens, the Christian path is either remaining unmarried or reconciliation. Augustine therefore treats the marriage bond as very serious, even after separation.
• This is one of the clearest patristic themes: separation may happen because of sin or serious breakdown, but remarriage while the spouse is alive is treated with deep caution or rejection in many early sources.

19. St Augustine — on marriage not made void by separation

“It is not made void even by separation itself.” [22]

• Augustine teaches that separation does not automatically destroy the marriage bond. This is why he warns against remarriage while the first spouse is alive. For him, marriage has a sacramental character and cannot be treated as cancelled simply because the couple separates.
• This became very influential in Western Christian thought. In Orthodox pastoral practice, later discipline developed with oikonomia in some cases, but Augustine’s strict witness still shows how seriously the ancient Church viewed marriage.

 Coptic Orthodox Summary

• The early Church Fathers had a very high view of marriage. They saw marriage as holy, serious, and joined by God, not as a temporary contract based only on emotion or convenience.
• The Fathers strongly warned against divorce and remarriage. Many of them taught that if separation happens, the person should remain unmarried or seek reconciliation, especially while the first spouse is still alive.
• The Fathers also recognised that adultery is a grave wound in marriage. Some texts allow separation when there is persistent adultery or grave sin, but separation was not treated as permission for easy remarriage.
• The early Christian focus was not only on law but also on salvation. The Church wanted to protect the innocent spouse, call the guilty spouse to repentance, and preserve the holiness of marriage where possible.
• A balanced Coptic Orthodox reading should keep these truths together: marriage is holy, divorce is tragic, adultery is serious, reconciliation is blessed where it is safe and truthful, and pastoral care must deal with real human suffering with both truth and mercy.
• The words of Christ remain the foundation: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:6, NIV) [23]
• The command of St Paul also remains central: “But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife." 1 Corinthians 7:11, NIV. [24]
• Christian marriage must also be shaped by sacrificial love, not control or selfishness: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25, NIV). [25]

References and Endnotes

[1] Matthew 19:4–6, NIV, where Christ teaches that marriage is “one flesh” and that what God joined should not be separated.

[2] Matthew 19:9, NIV; 1 Corinthians 7:10–11, NIV. These passages give the New Testament foundation for the early Christian discussion about divorce, adultery, remaining unmarried, and reconciliation.

[3] The Shepherd of Hermas, Book II, Commandment 4. The text says that if the wife persists in adultery, “The husband should put her away and remain by himself.”

[4] The Shepherd of Hermas, Book II, Commandment 4. The text says, “But if he put his wife away and marry another, he also commits adultery.”

[5] The Shepherd of Hermas, Book II, Commandment 4. The text teaches that the repentant sinner should be received back.

[6] St Justin Martyr, First Apology, chapter 15. Justin quotes the Lord’s teaching: “Whosoever shall marry her that is divorced from another husband commits adultery.”

[7] St Justin Martyr, First Apology, chapter 15. Justin says that those “by human law” twice-married are sinners in the eye of Christ.

[8] Athenagoras, A Plea for the Christians, chapter 33. Athenagoras says a person should remain as born or be content with one marriage.

[9] Athenagoras, A Plea for the Christians, chapter 33. Athenagoras describes a second marriage in this context as “a specious adultery".

[10] Clement of Alexandria, Stromata, Book II. Clement says marriage is a sacred image and must be kept pure.

[11] Clement of Alexandria, Stromata, Book II. Clement says Scripture counsels marriage and allows no release from the union.

[12] Tertullian, Against Marcion, Book IV. Tertullian says Christ prohibits divorce because He wills marriage to be inviolable.

[13] Tertullian, Against Marcion, Book V. Tertullian quotes the Pauline command that if the wife departs, she should remain unmarried or be reconciled.

[14] 1 Corinthians 7:10–11, NIV.

[15] Origen, Commentary on Matthew, Book XIV. Origen says the Saviour does not permit the dissolution of marriages for any sin except fornication.

[16] St John Chrysostom, Homily 62 on Matthew. Chrysostom teaches that one man must dwell with one woman continually.

[17] St John Chrysostom, Homily 62 on Matthew. Chrysostom compares divorce to severing one's flesh.

[18] St Basil the Great, Letter 188. Basil says the man who deserts his wife and goes to another is himself an adulterer.

[19] St Basil the Great, Letter 188. Basil says the woman who lives with such a man is an adulteress.

[20] St Augustine, Of the Good of Marriage. Augustine says the marriage of male and female is good.

[21] St Augustine, On the Sermon on the Mount, Book I. Augustine says it is necessary to remain unmarried or be reconciled.

[22] St Augustine, Of the Good of Marriage. Augustine says the marriage compact is not made void even by separation.

[23] Matthew 19:6, NIV.

[24] 1 Corinthians 7:11, NIV.

[25] Ephesians 5:25, NIV.